Selfless Protection – Chapter Fifteen

Click below to order the full version of the book. On sale!

A short passage from Chapter Fifteen. Copyright © 2005 by Katie J. Gonzalez LebreyaBooks

She had not only gathered a small woodpile but was delighted to find some wild berries as well. By the time the fire was started, Ian had a cleaned fish neatly run through with a stick for cooking.

They sat and ate it before it had time to cool, each gingerly chewing steaming bites of nearly flavorless fish. They finished their meal with the berries which were warm from the suns and overly sweet from the recent abundance of rain Ian had brought with him.

Ian watched Minaya pop another into her mouth, savoring his time with her, not wanting it to end.

“I’m reluctant to take you back,” he admitted between bites of wild berries.

She smiled at him. “There were so many times that I fantasized over you stealing me away,” she laughed. “I would dream of it happening a hundred different ways. Perhaps you would whisk me through my bedroom window. Or maybe you would sweep in on your horse and take me right from Vincent’s grasp.”

His white teeth shined as he laughed. “You’ve thought of those too, then?”

“Enough that I was sure it would happen,” she admitted. “But now … I know it wouldn’t be right.” They both sobered at that. “The ‘high commander’, Ian? That is an incredible accomplishment. I knew you were a leader of men, but to have such a responsibility at our age … how did that happen?”

“It wasn’t anything truly spectacular. It occurred with one promotion at a time until the queen had asked that I fill Pirus’ position.”

“You knew him then, didn’t you?”

“I did. He was brilliant. His gifts were unlike any others, yet in the same breath he was both humble and confident.”

She smiled. “Sounds like someone I know.” She reached over to hold his hand. “And I’m sure the armies follow you as they followed him. Lebreya needs you, Ian.”

“But I won’t choose Lebreya over you.”

“There must be another way for us to be together. I’m hopeful you can speak to my father and he will see your reasoning and things will work out somehow. But if you and I flee together, you would be abandoning your post as the high commander.”

He nodded. “This is true. I cannot uphold the law while I break it.”

“All the people of Lebreya depend on you to protect them.”

“I’ve had such conversations with the queen. I’ve refused multiple requests over you as my priority. She knows, as do my men, that you will always come first.”

“The queen knows of me?”

“I believe she is the reason I was sent here. She knew I would come for you, one way or another.”

“What other requests have you turned down?”

He was silent for a moment, not wanting to ever have this conversation with her. “It is nothing to concern you with.”

“I know you are the only male Lebreyan left to continue the line, Ian.” She blushed and looked away. “We don’t need to talk about it,” she said solemnly. “But know that I understand.”

He moved closer to her and took both of her hands in his, but she refused to look at him. “Who’s been speaking with you?” he asked.

“A Lebreyan woman visited years ago, soon after you left. She explained the situation to me. And I understand.” Her voice was shaking. “Without your seed, the Lebreyan race would cease to exist, and then all of the kingdom would be in jeopardy. By now even she has probably shared your bed.”

In a flash his hand had pulled her chin up to look at him. “I’ve never been with another woman. I could never!”

Her eyes were moist from unshed tears as she looked back at him. “But she told me how desperately they needed you. How everyone relied so heavily on you to father our future. Surely by now …” her eyes moved down to his shoulders, slowly lowering to the rest of him, taking in his mature and muscled form. “You’re fully grown, Ian. Have been fully capable since you left me five years ago. It’s only a matter of time before you …”

He interrupted her, “Don’t you understand who you are to me?” His words were tumbling out, one on top of the other. “It’s not possible for me to share myself with another woman. I am fully and completely devoted to you. Not once have I desired another woman. The thought of bedding someone other than you … it’s repulsive to me.”

She had become still as her heart was immediately healed and opened by his words. It had been broken for so many years with the images of him and other women. Not only that, but now she was clinging onto the fact that he had said, The thought of bedding someone other than you …

She moved closer to him. “And … what of bedding me, Ian? Is that a thought you have had?” Her hands had moved up to his forearms, her fingers deftly slipping under the fabric of his sleeves. She was so bold, but her voice so breathless, that Ian could physically see the light of the bond pulsing in his vision. He couldn’t answer her; his heart had moved up into his throat, even cutting off his air.

She crawled forward and into his lap, shifting herself closer until her knees straddled his hips. He looked down between them with wide eyes and he nearly lost his mind to see their bodies so close. All coherent thought melted away to feel her pressed against him.

Her fingers moved to his chest, loosening the laces of his tunic. Her eyes watched as his skin became exposed. “I’m not entirely sure what it entails, or how it is done, but, Ian …” she ran her fingers along the bare skin of his chest, “… I know that I need to be close to you. Closer than this.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and pressed herself against him. “I need to feel your skin on my skin,” she breathed into his ear.

Something switched inside of him, his next actions instinctual.

Without conscious thought she was suddenly on her back, he covering her with his body. Any thread of intelligence immediately fled as an animalistic hunger brought him down to find her mouth, her lips parting in welcome. His hand moved behind her neck, tilting her head back as his tongue entered her mouth, craving everything she had to give him.

She may not fully understand what it was she wanted from him, but was very thorough with her discovery. Her hands were everywhere; skimming over his chest, shoulders, neck, and back, her fingers rolling over the muscles in his biceps as they rippled under his command, all the while kissing him expertly as if she knew the exact subtleties which would arouse him. She could read him; every movement of his body, a language she understood as naturally as if he were beseeching his deepest fantasies with clarity. Any timidity or reservation he had was eased with her intentional actions, meant to both please and relieve his uncertainties. The intimacy of their unique physical communication only proved to ignite his passion all the more.

He was wild with his need for her. He couldn’t get enough of her like this, and he knew how to satiate both his and her desires . . . it was only she that didn’t know how. If he left it up to her she would certainly find out with the way she was crawling all over him and undressing him, but it was up to him to take the lead.

It was only within that instant that the briefest moment presented itself to him for intentional thought. He grasped onto it, feebly at first; an intoxicated, half-minded attempt to pull himself out of the impetuous actions which had taken over. Temptation was staring him in the face; beckoning to his basest hunger – and it would be so easy to guide her; she would do anything to please him. Even in their inexperience, she was in sync with him simply due to their familiarity. With each movement he directed, she answered with devotion. She would follow him anywhere and together they would discover what the future held.

He battled internally with the bond that both drove him to make love to her and then also to protect her, even if it was protection against himself. If only she were his wife the war inside him would cease. But this was a fight he was determined to win; he needed to control his desires for the both of them. He removed his hands from her and pushed himself up so he was hovering above her, his hair falling over his shoulders. “Minaya, my love … we can’t do this.”

“Ian, please. I need you.” She pulled at his shoulders, doing what she could to convince him to come back down to her. Her body writhed with wanting, aching for his return.

“I know how you’re feeling. Please, believe me, I do. I want you so badly I can hardly think. But this isn’t our time yet. It will be, love. We will marry, and I will make love to you endlessly. But not yet. The Creator put this desire for you into my heart and body, but also the knowledge of what is right into my mind. I’m bound to respect you, and that means I won’t allow myself to have you until you are fully mine, just as He designed it to be.”

Her palms were rubbing over his forearms, a look of pleading in her eyes. “Kiss me then. Just kiss me.”

His arms stayed firmly locked beneath him. “I don’t trust myself,” he said with the slightest shake of his head. “I’m not certain I should be alone with you at all. Not until we’re wed.” He swallowed deeply and his eyes drifted down to her body lying beneath him. “Everything inside me wants you.” He clenched his teeth. “Badly.”

“But, Ian, what if we don’t marry?” Her voice was frightened. “What if I’m forced to wed Vincent? I don’t want him to be the first to bed me. He’s spoken of it. I know he wants to hurt me. He’s said he will bend me to his will.”

Ian’s entire countenance changed in an instant. She watched him transform into something dangerous. His jaw throbbed and he spoke through clenched teeth. “He won’t lay a finger on you. I will kill him first.” He saw how still she had become at his reaction and so he sat up, pulling her with him and sitting her in his lap. “Come here. I won’t let him hurt you. I promise.” He wrapped his arms protectively around her and pulled her to his chest. “I know it’s been difficult while I have been away, and you’ve been frightened, but I’m here now. And nothing will ever harm you. Not ever.”